I am taking a course to become a Yoga Instructor. Although I have been
teaching Yoga for sometime I have never actually taken the formal
certification. It's a 6 months process for just the basic training.
Yoga is a philosophy, a way of life, if you will. There is a lot to be
taught, not only on a physical level but also on an emotional and
spiritual level. Each week we have to try and embrace a yogic
philosophy and incorporate it into our lives. Then we have to write a
report on it and hand it in as homework. The first philosophy that we
were taught to embrace is "Ahimsa" - it means "non-violence".
After learning about Ahimsa last Sunday I decided, on my drive
home, I would attempt to do two things; first, not yell at my kids, and second,
limit my swearing. I believe
communication through yelling is a form of violence and I have vowed for many
years to try and find better ways of getting my kids to do the things I want
them to do without yelling. I also believe swearing to
be a violent way of expressing oneself but I do it anyway. I see how unbecoming it is but I once read a
study that said it does in fact have a positive physiological effect on the
negative impact of stress on the body so I whole-heartedly bought into that
philosophy and justified my swearing as a healthy means of reducing my cortisol
levels.
When I left Yoga training on Sunday I had not prepared any
meals in advance for my family. I have a
husband and three kids at home who depend on me for food. I decided I would run over to the Green Door
Vegetarian Organic Restaurant and grab take out for everyone. When I
arrived at the ever famous Green Door there was a line-up a mile long.
“Fuck” I said under my breath and hurried back to the car to
try vegetarian organic option number two – The Table Vegetarian Organic Restaurant. My kids like the food from The Table but not
as much as they like the food from The Green Door.
By the time I got to The Table I could imagine my youngest
child at home getting hungry and I started to stress. I texted my husband and told him to tie him
over with some cut up cucumbers and carrots.
When I finally got home I quickly dished up some tofu patties and some
buckwheat noodle pasta dish onto everyone’s plate. As soon as I set it down on the table my
daughter said “I don’t like these noodles”.
“No problem” I said.
“Just leave them to the side”.
“What should I get for lunches tomorrow?” my husband asked.
“Don’t worry. I already
got it” I said.
“If it’s these noodles, I’m not eating them mom so don’t put
them in my lunch” my daughter snapped.
“I heard you the first time!” I yelled.
Then I turned to my husband and said “Shit, I was trying not
to yell and I lasted all of 60 seconds in this house and shit, I just said shit,”
I yelled but again.
“Only one day of Yoga training and I have already failed at
being a Yogini! I hate this shit,” I
yell and stomp over to the green bin to throw the rest of the “grose” noodles
out.
Obviously, it is not my time to stop yelling and stop
swearing. I will accept the fact that I
am not ready for that just yet. I think
I need to find some other coping mechanisms to replace those ones before just
quitting cold turkey. So on to plan B.
One morning while driving my kids to school I stopped at Tim
Horton’s to get my daughter a bagel. I
hate Tim Horton’s and I swore I would never feed it to my children but my
daughter loves the bagels so we have agreed to one every second Friday and I
can live with that. I explained the
philosophy of Ahimsa to my daughter and all week we had been talking about nice
things people do for each other. I
really enjoyed brainstorming ideas with her and I feel that although I yell and
swear a lot she is a good kid and I would like to think I played a role in that.
As we approached the Tim Horton’s line-up she said “Hey mom,
you should pay for the person behind us”.
“Good idea, curly” (I call her curly because she has a big
afro). I peer in my rear view mirror and
see a single woman in a small sedan behind me.
Perfect. I think to
myself. One lady = one coffee. When I get to the window to pay for my
daughter’s bagel I tell the clerk I want to pay for the car behind me. Unfortunately, the car behind me is still
ordering so the clerk doesn’t know the total yet. So we wait…and wait…and wait…and finally,
that single lady is done ordering food and drink for her entire office, or
extended family, or all the staff at her kids pre-school, or all of the
above. What could possibly amount to 36
bucks at Tim Horton’s? Yes, you read
that right - 36 dollars! Luckily I had
recently returned from a trip to Vietnam and had changed some cash at the
airport before returning home because I don’t regularly carry $40 cash on
me. That was the Universe being kind to
me I guess because it would have been really embarrassing to offer to pay for
the car behind me and then have to rescind my offer due to lack of funds.
So here I am eagerly awaiting my second weekend of Yoga
training hoping that whatever yogic philosophy we learn this week will work out
better for me than Ahimsa did.
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